Consultant’s Corner

Part III of excerpts from the Field Manual of Sabotage….. (How not to be a good employee or consultant)

Part 12 – General Devices for Lowering Morale and Creating Confusion

(a) Give lengthy and incomprehensible explanations when questioned (or one of my  favorites, don’t answer the question that was asked, answer something else…my kids do that all the time).

(b) Report imaginary spies or danger to the Gestapo or police (or in today’s language, make up rumors or invent political problems or concerns that don’t exist. Be paranoid or conspiracy minded,  see the How to be Miserable video in an earlier post).

(c) Act stupid.

(d) Be as irritable and quarrelsome as possible without getting yourself into trouble (see the How to be miserable video in an earlier post).

(e) Misunderstand all sorts of regulations (i.e. processes, policies and procedures) concerning such matters as rationing, transportation, traffic regulations (or worse, don’t pay attention when the process is rolled out and then complain when your expenses are denied or delayed because YOU didn’t want to follow all the steps required).

(f) Complain against ersatz (replacement) materials.

(g) In public treat axis nationals or quislings coldly (treat your manager, the traitor, as if she or he is “not one of us anymore”).

(h) Stop all conversation when axis nationals or quislings enter a cafe (when the boss enters the room stop talking immediately. Leave the impression you are plotting something).

(i) Cry and sob hysterically at every occasion, especially when confronted by government clerks (“corporate” Accounting or HR).

(j) Boycott all movies, entertainments, concerts, newspapers which are in any way connected with the quisling authorities (my manager has “sold out” so I’m not going to cooperate).

(k) Do not cooperate in salvage schemes (or project-gone-bad rescues, etc.).