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	<title>Consultant's Corner &#187; Human resources</title>
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	<description>Strategies and Tactics to help your consulting career</description>
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		<title>The &#8220;Anti-Pattern&#8221; for a good consultant (or employee) &#8211; Part III.</title>
		<link>http://joelstanesa.com/consultant-skills/the-anti-pattern-for-a-good-consultant-or-employee-part-iii/</link>
		<comments>http://joelstanesa.com/consultant-skills/the-anti-pattern-for-a-good-consultant-or-employee-part-iii/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 06 Jul 2009 11:58:11 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Joel Stanesa</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Consultant Skills]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[business processes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[conspiracy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[consultants]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[consulting]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Human resources]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[rumors]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sabotage]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://joelstanesa.com/?p=69</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[<p>Part III of excerpts from the Field Manual of Sabotage&#8230;.. (How not to be a good employee or consultant)</p>
<p>Part 12 &#8211; General Devices for Lowering Morale and Creating Confusion</p>
<p>(a)	Give lengthy and incomprehensible explanations when questioned (or one of my  favorites, don&#8217;t answer the question that was asked, answer something else&#8230;my kids do that all the time).</p>
<p>(b)	Report <span style="color:#777"> . . . &#8594; Read More: <a href="http://joelstanesa.com/consultant-skills/the-anti-pattern-for-a-good-consultant-or-employee-part-iii/">The &#8220;Anti-Pattern&#8221; for a good consultant (or employee) &#8211; Part III.</a></span>]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Part III of excerpts from the Field Manual of Sabotage&#8230;.. (How not to be a good employee or consultant)</p>
<p><strong>Part 12 &#8211; General Devices for Lowering Morale and Creating Confusion</strong></p>
<p>(a)	Give lengthy and incomprehensible explanations when questioned (<em>or one of my  favorites, don&#8217;t answer the question that was asked, answer something else&#8230;my kids do that all the time</em>).</p>
<p>(b)	Report imaginary spies or danger to the Gestapo or police (<em>or in today’s language, make up rumors or invent political problems or concerns that don’t exist. Be paranoid or conspiracy minded</em>,  see <em>the How to be Miserable video in an earlier post</em>).</p>
<p>(c)	Act stupid.</p>
<p>(d)	Be as irritable and quarrelsome as possible without getting yourself into trouble (<em>see the How to be miserable video in an earlier post</em>).</p>
<p>(e)	Misunderstand all sorts of regulations (<em>i.e. processes, policies  and procedures</em>) concerning such matters as rationing, transportation, traffic regulations (<em>or worse, don&#8217;t pay attention when the process is rolled out and then complain when your expenses are denied or delayed because YOU didn&#8217;t want to follow all the steps required</em>).</p>
<p>(f)	Complain against <a class="zem_slink" title="Ersatz" rel="wikipedia" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ersatz">ersatz</a> (<em>replacement</em>) materials.</p>
<p>(g)	In public treat axis nationals or quislings coldly (<em>treat your manager, the traitor, as if she or he is &#8220;not one of us anymore&#8221;</em>).</p>
<p>(h)	Stop all conversation when axis nationals or quislings enter a cafe (<em>when the boss enters the room stop talking immediately. Leave the impression you are plotting something)</em>.</p>
<p>(i)	Cry and sob hysterically at every occasion, especially when confronted by government clerks (<em>“corporate” Accounting or HR</em>).</p>
<p>(j)	Boycott all movies, entertainments, concerts, newspapers which are in any way connected with the quisling authorities (<em>my manager has &#8220;sold out&#8221; so I&#8217;m not going to cooperate</em>).</p>
<p>(k)	Do not cooperate in salvage schemes (<em>or project-gone-bad rescues, etc.</em>).</p>
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		<title>The &#8220;Anti-Pattern&#8221; for a good consultant (or employee) &#8211; Part II.</title>
		<link>http://joelstanesa.com/consultant-skills/the-anti-pattern-for-a-good-consultant-or-employee-part-ii/</link>
		<comments>http://joelstanesa.com/consultant-skills/the-anti-pattern-for-a-good-consultant-or-employee-part-ii/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 03 Jul 2009 14:42:10 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Joel Stanesa</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Consultant Skills]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[business processes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Consultant]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[consultants]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[consulting]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Human resources]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[rumors]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sabotage]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://joelstanesa.com/?p=54</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Things you should be doing if you want to be a bad consultant or employee. In other words, here a whole list of behaviors and things not to do if you want to be considered a good employee or better yet a solid and valuable consultant (who is retained over and over again and brings in the revenue). <span style="color:#777"> . . . &#8594; Read More: <a href="http://joelstanesa.com/consultant-skills/the-anti-pattern-for-a-good-consultant-or-employee-part-ii/">The &#8220;Anti-Pattern&#8221; for a good consultant (or employee) &#8211; Part II.</a></span>]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p class="Default" style="margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.25in;"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:PunctuationKerning /> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas /> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables /> <w:SnapToGridInCell /> <w:WrapTextWithPunct /> <w:UseAsianBreakRules /> <w:DontGrowAutofit /> </w:Compatibility> <w:BrowserLevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" LatentStyleCount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--></p>
<p class="Default" style="margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.25in;">More from the <a title="Simple Sabotage Field Manual" href="http://www.gutenberg.org/files/26184/page-images/26184-images.pdf" target="_blank">Simple Sabotage Field Manual</a>&#8230; (Or how not to be a good consultant)</p>
<p class="Default" style="margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.25in;"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:PunctuationKerning /> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas /> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables /> <w:SnapToGridInCell /> <w:WrapTextWithPunct /> <w:UseAsianBreakRules /> <w:DontGrowAutofit /> </w:Compatibility> <w:BrowserLevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" LatentStyleCount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--> <!--[if gte mso 10]><br />
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<p><!--[endif]--><strong><span style="font-size: 11.5pt; font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; color: black;">Part 11 &#8211; <em>General Interference with Organisations and Production (Continued w/emphasis added)<br />
</em></span></strong></p>
<p class="Default" style="margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><span>(a)<span style="font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; font-size: 7pt; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; -x-system-font: none;"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;">Office Workers </span></p>
<p class="Default" style="margin-left: 1in; text-indent: -0.25in;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><span>1)<span style="font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; font-size: 7pt; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; -x-system-font: none;"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;">Make mistakes in quantities of material when you are copying orders </span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;">(<em>or basically any other business process or work task</em>) </span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;">. Confuse similar names. Use wrong addresses.</span></p>
<p class="Default" style="margin-left: 1in; text-indent: -0.25in;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><span>2)<span style="font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; font-size: 7pt; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; -x-system-font: none;"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;">Prolong correspondence with government bureaus (<em>spend tons of time in email about non essential elements of the project</em>). </span></p>
<p class="Default" style="margin-left: 1in; text-indent: -0.25in;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><span>3)<span style="font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; font-size: 7pt; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; -x-system-font: none;"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;">Misfile essential documents. </span></p>
<p class="Default" style="margin-left: 1in; text-indent: -0.25in;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><span>4)<span style="font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; font-size: 7pt; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; -x-system-font: none;"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;">In making carbon copies, make one too few, so that an extra copying job will have to be done. </span></p>
<p class="Default" style="margin-left: 1in; text-indent: -0.25in;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><span>5)<span style="font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; font-size: 7pt; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; -x-system-font: none;"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;">Tell important callers the boss is busy or talking on another telephone. </span></p>
<p class="Default" style="margin-left: 1in; text-indent: -0.25in;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><span>6)<span style="font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; font-size: 7pt; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; -x-system-font: none;"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;">Hold up mail until the next collection. </span></p>
<p class="Default" style="margin-left: 1in; text-indent: -0.25in;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><span>7)<span style="font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; font-size: 7pt; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; -x-system-font: none;"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;">Spread disturbing rumors that sound like inside dope. </span></p>
<p class="Default"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="Default" style="margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.25in;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><span>(b)<span style="font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; font-size: 7pt; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; -x-system-font: none;"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;">Employees </span></p>
<p class="Default"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="Default" style="margin-left: 1in; text-indent: -0.25in;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><span>1)<span style="font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; font-size: 7pt; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; -x-system-font: none;"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><em><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;">Work slowly</span></em><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;">. Think out ways to increase the number of movements necessary on your job: use a light hammer instead of a heavy one, try to make a small wrench do when a big one is necessary, use little force where considerable force is needed, and so on. </span></p>
<p class="Default"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="Default" style="margin-left: 1in; text-indent: -0.25in;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><span>2)<span style="font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; font-size: 7pt; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; -x-system-font: none;"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;">Contrive as many interruptions to your work as you can: when changing the material on which you are working, as you would on a lathe or punch, take needless time to do it. If you are cutting, shaping or doing other measured work, measure dimensions twice as often as you need to. When you go to the lavatory, spend a longer time there than is necessary. Forget tools so that you will have to go back after them. </span></p>
<p class="Default"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="Default" style="margin-left: 1in; text-indent: -0.25in;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><span>3)<span style="font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; font-size: 7pt; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; -x-system-font: none;"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;">Even if you understand the language, pretend not to understand instructions in a foreign tongue.<span> </span><em>Translating to what we do: Don’t bother to<span> </span>take the time to learn the other person’s “language” at all, for example the marketing speak, or the terms and language used in the Engineering or Logistics group</em></span></p>
<p class="Default"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="Default" style="margin-left: 1in; text-indent: -0.25in;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><span>4)<span style="font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; font-size: 7pt; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; -x-system-font: none;"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;">Pretend that instructions are hard to understand, and ask to have them repeated more than once. Or pretend that you are particularly anxious to do your work, and pester the foreman with unnecessary questions. </span></p>
<p class="Default"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="Default" style="margin-left: 1in; text-indent: -0.25in;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><span>5)<span style="font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; font-size: 7pt; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; -x-system-font: none;"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;">Do your work poorly and blame it on bad tools, machinery, or equipment. Complain that these things are preventing you from doing your job right. <em>(and its not your fault)</em></span></p>
<p class="Default"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="Default" style="margin-left: 1in; text-indent: -0.25in;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><span>6)<span style="font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; font-size: 7pt; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; -x-system-font: none;"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;">Never pass on your skill and experience to a new or less skillful worker (<em>A common tactic played by many under the guise of &#8220;job security&#8221; which is an oxymoron in today&#8217;s world</em>) </span></p>
<p class="Default"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="Default" style="margin-left: 1in; text-indent: -0.25in;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><span>7)<span style="font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; font-size: 7pt; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; -x-system-font: none;"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;">Snarl up administration in every possible way. Fill out forms illegibly so that they will have to be done over; make mistakes or omit requested information in forms. </span></p>
<p class="Default"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="Default" style="margin-left: 1in; text-indent: -0.25in;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><span> <img src='http://joelstanesa.com/wp-includes/images/smilies/icon_cool.gif' alt='8)' class='wp-smiley' /> <span style="font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; font-size: 7pt; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; -x-system-font: none;"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;">If possible, join or help organize a group for presenting employee problems to the management. See that the procedures adopted are as inconvenient as possible for the management, involving the presence of a large number of employees at each presentation, entailing more than one meeting for each grievance, bringing up problems which are largely imaginary, and so on. </span></p>
<p class="Default"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="Default" style="margin-left: 1in; text-indent: -0.25in;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><span>9)<span style="font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; font-size: 7pt; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; -x-system-font: none;"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;">Misroute materials (<em>intentionally or through ignorance?</em>). </span></p>
<p class="Default"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="Default" style="margin-left: 1in; text-indent: -0.25in;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><span>10)<span style="font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; font-size: 7pt; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; -x-system-font: none;"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;">Mix good parts with unusable scrap and rejected parts. </span></p>
<p class="Default" style="margin-left: 1in; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<p class="Default" style="margin-left: 1in; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><em>Part III tomorrow&#8230;</em><br />
</span></p>
<p class="Default"><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"> </span></p>
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